Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
