Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
and she was petting her beer can
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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