i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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