sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
