Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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