So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
