Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
