the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
