i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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