I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
