it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
try to milk me bitch
Randomize