Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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