I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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