You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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