first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize