how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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