You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
