I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
