Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize