She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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