lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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