I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
