he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
