North Korea, Best Korea!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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