can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She bit a glass in half.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
