The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
