big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
