Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
