help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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