I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
