Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
