I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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