You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
pop tarts are not kleenex
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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