if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
