Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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