I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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