shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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