that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
