There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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