final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
