well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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