some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
my being single is dangerous.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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