Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
