Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
