I'm jealous of your bromance
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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