You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize