I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
