Dual....:-)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
