I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
