I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
