I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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