Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize