Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize