You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
