I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize