you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
