Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It was confusing and full of hummus
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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