Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
