Im at strip club and am horny
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
