Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
